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Friday, August 28, 2009

Guardian Angels

One week into my first summer sales experience I sprained my ankle. Three days later I tried crutches. One week later I was making no money and hobbling around in pain all day. All positive thinking and pick me ups had failed. Even calling my Mom did not work as it usually does.

On the day it all came crashing down and I found myself slumped against a concrete wall head hanging. My ankle was throbbing, I couldn’t walk and couldn’t sell. My hopes of financial freedom had been taken from me. It seemed like I sat for hours. As the sun sank, my spirits already at an all-time low, did as well. The faint glow of the half-broken street light was all that kept me from sinking back into the evening shadows. I felt numb, empty, I couldn’t even dredge up the emotion to feel sorry for myself. I composed a silent prayer and tossed it aloft pleading for some kind of deliverance.

In this woeful state a man approached me. I had seen him earlier standing in his open garage shirt off cigarette dangling precariously from his lip. He seemed almost embarrassed as he spoke, telling me in a few short words of his own sales experience years earlier. Then he handed me a sandwich and a bag of chips and walked away.

In that moment my body couldn’t decide what emotion it was feeling. Sorrow, joy, comfort and a deep overwhelming sense of gratitude swept through me.

As I bit into the sandwich my tears dotted the sidewalk.

I did not know this man and likely would never see him again, but I silently thanked God for sending one of his angels.


Sometimes trials can be blessings in disguise. For example, my snowboarding accident destroyed the tears ducts in my left eye. Now whenever my girlfriend drags me to a chick flick I can just blame allergies. Cause no one can cry out of just one eye.

How to Write Modern Poetry

Step One: write a nonsense narrative

I sleep in my underpants
Under sweaty blankets
That haven’t been
Washed in months

Sometimes I eat ice cream
Like Bacon is good….in bed

My refrigerator
Is a sleeping monster
It haunts every waking hour

Standing in the shower
I snot rocket

Underpants, sprocket
Cathode ray tube
Beryllium sphere

Step Two: Translate into Japanese via online translator

されている haven’t

アイスクリーム ベーコンは good….in ベッド Like 食べません時々

白日の 1 時間ごとを haunts します。

私 snot ロケット


Step Three: Translate back into English

I I sleep in the see
Under the sweating blankets
Haven ’ t is
-Washed in the month

Ice cream Bacon is bed like eat sometimes

My refrigerator
It is a sleep Monster.
Haunts the every hour of daylight.

Stands in the shower.
I snot rockets

I will see the sprocket cathode ray tube
Beryllium sphere